I have always wanted a reason to create. I find it so hard to not feel guilty doing little creative things. Whether that be sewing, drawing, painting, even indulging in hair or makeup. I really have no idea why I feel that way. Guilty for doing something I enjoy. It doesn’t mean I don’t do them. It just means I feel guilty while I do them. Like it is a waste of time. Effort, and that I owe everyone else my time. I sometimes argue with myself telling that if I create I will feel more like “me” less like a crazy person. I also though can’t help but notice though all the things falling down around me. It seems I can never get ahead. Never stay on top. And that in itself is discouraging. I have found though that it is *sometimes* okay to create. To enjoy myself delighting in, well, myself. As far as what I myself am creating. I always trying to make a dent in the way I would like to live day by day. And I long to create comforting things for the people in my life. And I literally feel the drive to make everything I do creative or otherwise beneficial. I think a lot of my issues lie deep. I don’t always know how to manage my life, I know what I want to do. But I see a list so long I am afraid of starting and starting in the wrong order. Does that make sense? I just started an online class recently. It is all about creating what one loves. And making time in our everyday busy lives for inspiration and also expressing oneself through sketch, paint and other methods. I feel more ready to create now. I readied my blog. And I also readied my husband! Him knowing that I am taking this class eases my own self-imposed guilt and makes it easier to relax and not rush through. It has also made me thankful that my sister (in-law) who was the one who included me in this class. Literally paying my way so I could participate. Not everyone has family that can inspire them in such ways. Thank you Anne!
So I hope you will take a ride with me. At least for a while as I concour keeping a blog freshly pressed and a class sharpening my skills I will be posting the artful parts of the process on here as well as my normal day-to-day crazy life. I hope I have inspired all of you to think about what it is that makes you divinely you. and that somehow all of us will one day be able to manage life well along with being fully artistic without feeling we need to apologize or feel guilty.
We shall see how it goes!