I have been feeling a boatload of emotions lately. The absence of light with the change of seasons is taking its toll. I have felt this cloud over me that seems to mute out some of my normal joys. It takes more effort to direct my thoughts to positivity, and at times it feels the world is crushing me. I look at the beautiful fall colors around me, and for a second I am lifted. But this time, I am not shaking the recent storm clouds covering my paths. I have been coping with emotions this year, better – in my own assessment – and not tripping all day over the things that come into my mind that breeds fear and self doubt. I realize everyone deals from time to time with these sorts of emotions. And as I have done before, I have taken control, whipping myself back into shape as in times past. And today, I am there again, feeling its weight. Every time the clouds come, the depression, the down in the dumps, the doldrums, I remember when I thought I had graduated from these feelings. But each time I go through them and overcome, I feel I learn the most important lessons. Fear is much like depression, it tries to control. And at times I shrink and allow it to take the wheel. Until, the fear gets so out of control I get nasty and take the wheel back. It is then that I remember I cannot allow fear or depression to become my master. It is chilling to see the person I become when I become passive to these emotions. It grabs me and takes me where darkness and loneliness with fear becomes my most faithful friend. I become comfortable with it, making it a bed, and working my schedual around it. My life gets placed on hold, yet with the world still turning, I just sit it out. It is important that I recognize the cycle of these emotions. And to remember how to snuff out what tries to pull me under.
–Hugs to those who have been here before, and a reminder to fight for peace that passes understanding.
King James Version (KJV)
7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”