Normalcy

I am not really sure how to start this post of mine, but wanted to get back to a sense of normalacy if at all possible. This year is proving to be a hard one. I lost my dad very unexpectantly, he was only 55. I cannot begin to wrap up (even) if I had 100 pages what it feels like to lose your dad. And honestly I am not even going to try it. All I really want to say is that there is a ache in my being that never goes away, a longing for one more hug, one more visit, one more sight of him, and even the thought of that, brings me right now to tears. And with it there are a lot of memories, pictures, and dreams not realized. I might one day share more on this feeling, but right now I am doing my best to heal. And that I found comes not always easy. I would like to take if I may a step back for awhile, not neccessarily ingoring these feelings of mine, but let everyone know that this blog has always been my way to post encouragement, good ideas, and at times hurts. I don’t want to be constantly riding a train drenched with sorrow, because in a daily sense I cannot continue to live that way (even though I am tempted to).

I find it helps sometimes if I keep busy and focused. But I also need to be real, time to heal, and have a real good sorrowful sob so I can keep going. All I can say is losing a parent is not for wimps. So without further ado I am going to move from here just a bit, and only dig deep into grief when and if I can. I might post on the weather, or I may go on more serious. Just want to take my time, and do what I need to do.